and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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