It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
