I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
