so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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