So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
