my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
