end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
