Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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