That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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