Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
