Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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