How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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