I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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