I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
