Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
im calling her cock vulture from now on
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
