im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
