I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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