Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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