Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize