Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
In other news, I just burned my penis
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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