Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
