I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
