We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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