i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
