my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
