mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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