So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
