Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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