i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
