Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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