Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
