it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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