She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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