9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize