I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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