shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
