But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
