you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
