we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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