just tell him i said nine months
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
