Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
