I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it glows. i had to have it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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