Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
