I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
