it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm having to shit out rocks
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
