and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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