And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
