i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
