what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
