Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
