My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
