WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
