Your dad touched me again.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
