did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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