May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
