Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
