I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
