I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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