no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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