May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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