hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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