quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
