He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
