covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize